Writing exercise- from a photo

Here's what I wrote for one of the exercises we did in our last writing class yesterday--

writing exercise- Photo- May 12, 2009

They are a gray-haired couple. He wears his grayness on is face with a full beard that is more white than gray. She is heavier than he is, wearing a floral shirt of some sort. His eyes are shining brightly, glasses aimed at his granddaughter on this happy occasion. A hearing aide glimpses out from behind his ear, aging him too quickly. Daughter and granddaughter smile for the camera but the true joy is his. He wears a university sweatshirt, a gift from the daughter probably, and he really is a happy man, in the midst of the women who love him dearly. If you could see the cake, hidden in the cardboard box on the table, then you might guess the occasion to be Spring, Easter, or a little girl's birthday. All are good answers for an April afternoon.

The lighting isn't quite right. You know this wasn't a professional with a camera, just a cheap disposable used for quick picture taking to capture memories, not for creating family heirloom displays.

The young child is happy. Happy for the camera, for the party, for grandpa, and for friends. She is hoping this day will never end. She is tall and muscular, looking older than her 3 years maybe, but I could be wrong.

The mother or daughter.. the woman in blue... who is that? Who is that overweight woman with the long messy hair? Why is she wearing such ugly, cheap clothes? What's wrong with her face? She's too frumpy for this picture. She can't possibly be related to the cute little girl with purple pants, or the smiling old man in the gray shirt. Is she the cleaning lady or something? She doesn't belong! But the man, unseen, holding the camera, refuses to be in the picture, so someone must hold the child and there she is.

The gray haired man, wearing the gray sweatshirt, he is the star of this photo.

(time is up)