Emotional Blackmail

I'm not done with it yet, but I've been slowly working my way through a book about "Emotional Blackmail" by Susan Forward. This isn't a new book I guess. There seems to be a lot about it on the internet already.

I found this other website that talks about getting out of the FOG. Susan says that victims of blackmail are in a FOG of Fear, Obligation, and Guilt. I can relate to that.

http://www.outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/EmotionalBlackmail.html

There is another book report here http://www.wayneandtamara.com/emotionalblackmail.htm

and then there is this little summary-  http://www.angelfire.com/vt/rcwn/Pagefifteen.html

Like I said I haven't finished the book yet, but a lot of it is common sense stuff. It just helps hearing someone else say it. It helps to put labels on things. Instead of just saying someone is "crazy", I can give it labels and that helps me take action. Sometimes that action might just be stalling for more time, or no action at all. I've already learned that not jumping the minute she tells me to jump will sometimes change the situation.

I think I'm about ready to tell her we won't be seeing her for Thanksgiving too. There is a lot of guilt that goes with that decision, but I think it's the right one. I just have to wait for the right time to tell her. I know it won't be easy.

Meanwhile back to the book... I'm wading through it, trying to absorb it. I feel like I need to read some of it again. This isn't something that I just want to read and forget. I want it to sink in so I'm taking my time.

Definitely recommendable if you have a toxic person in your life.

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