Monday, August 17, 2009

Some balance of course

So Saturday was great, which meant that Sunday couldn't possibly be fun pretty much. Abby and my husband were tired, and we had grocery shopping to do. Plus I really wanted to see my maternal grandmother. I hadn't seen her since my mom moved back up here 6 weeks ago. Between visiting with my mom, Abby being sick, and everything else it just hadn't been possible. It was time to make it a priority. So another hot day, and I resolved that some air conditioning in the car would do both Abby and my husband well.

We got a late start, after a huge battle over shoes, to Northampton. Found a parking spot, and went to "Tokyo & Taipei" for lunch. It was hot inside, and they had the doors open. Food was slow to arrive, and Abby was miserable waiting. It was good when it came though, and I was glad we went. Next stop was to see grandma. We took the long way I think, maybe trying to get Abby to settle down for a nap, but it didn't work. I went inside alone to visit, and saw that grandma is not doing well. She can't stand up anymore on her own, and the staff said she is a "hoyer-lift" now. I have to look that up, but basically it means she has a special wheelchair now and has to be lifted out of bed by staff etc. She wasn't wearing her glasses, and I couldn't tell if she could hear me. She wasn't talking much, just resting in bed. Usually when we visit she is sitting in front of the nurses station, but not anymore. She's gone downhill since my last visit and it really made me sad. Her hands are all black and purple too, and I'm not sure why. It was all I could do not to cry. I went outside and reported back to my family. Abby brought her ball inside and my husband held her as Abby passed the ball to grandma, and grandpa passed it back and smiled. We got her to smile at least. Abby was very shy, as usual, and we didn't stay long. Grandma indicated that she was taking a picture of us in her mind. I felt like I was visiting her death bed. I cried in the car, quietly. I don't know if she will stay like this for long, but I know that she can't have much further down to go before she's gone. So sad.

Next stop was back to Amherst to take my husband in for a visit at Urgent Care. He had evidently made a phone call while I was visiting grandma. I dropped him off, and then took Abby to Dunkin for a bottle of milk. It started to rain so Abby and I waited in the car for him to get done. She was watching her dvd anyway. We were sad not to visit the park again, but the rain gave us no choice.

When he was done, we dropped off the prescription and got groceries, then picked up the meds and came home. As we neared the lake I could tell that it had not rained at home yet. The state beach was very crowded and I could see familiar cars there, and I knew our friends were having fun. Then I peeked in the backseat and saw my little girl sound asleep. We got home, got the groceries in, and got her to bed. It wasn't even 6:30pm yet. Another day with no nap, and no supper, and she was done. She slept through the night on our bed.

I'm worried about my grandma of course. I've never seen her this bad. I don't know if she is starting to let go now that my mom is in the area, or whether this would still be happening if my mom was still in Florida. It's tough though. Very sad.

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