Tuesday, August 19, 2008


I didn't emphasize it enough in my last post, I really had to work on priorities while DH was gone. Was it more important to get to work on time, or more important to give dd a couple of extra hugs? Was it more important to get home or more important to spend an hour at the beach? Etc.

I got a good lesson on that on Wednesday, my first day back to work, when I got pulled over for speeding. Fortunately the officer was very understanding and gave me a written warning. That was a good lesson for me. In the morning, Abby had thrown a tantrum when I was dropping her off at daycare, and I had gotten to work 20 minutes late. Then I had stayed late to make up the time at work, still I was trying really hard to get to daycare on time some how because I knew that the substitute was there and would be itching to leave. I was trying to do it all, and it just didn't work.

On Thursday, I didn't listen to the tantrum so long, I made it to work on time, and I made it back to daycare. Then I found out that the daycare provider had rescheduled their vacation for 2 weeks (August 11th) and I was going to be juggling for care. I was really ticked. More than really ticked. It was also supposed to be the substitute's last day, but I didn't care about that at the moment. I immediately found a woman who I thought would be willing to watch Abby that week, and told her (she was parking her car at the beach) that I'd be calling her very soon. Meanwhile I was trying not to let my bad mood affect Abby, which was pretty much impossible and I also had to reach my husband in California to give him the news. It was a logistical freak time.

The near speeding ticket on Wednesday, the daycare thing on Thursday, it felt like every day I had some kind of crisis. Meanwhile I wasn't sleeping well, and mother nature wasn't being nice to my body either. I was very relieved when DH came home, and yet, I know I could do it all again. And maybe next time I will do it better.

I wish I hadn't gotten rid of all my Al-Anon books (friends and family of alcoholics) because I really found myself trying to remember those things about living in the moment and the serenity prayer etc. Keep It Simple Stupid. Right?

And now I've got to get back to work, and I still feel like I haven't said it all somehow.

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